I told a friend yesterday with great enthusiasm about a great connection I made with a person I’ve never met before, and with whom I’m about to go on a professional overseas trip. I had a lot of anticipation anxiety about how to approach her appropriately. It’s one of those 21st century situations, where you want to neither be a phony nor be too eager. I wrote her an email but didn’t send it. Somehow every time I read it, it didn’t feel quite natural. Then, yesterday I felt ready, and sent it from my breathing-heart, and she responded warmly and we had a wonderful exchange that was authentic & meaningful. “Hold your own” my friend texted me. I appreciated it because it reminded me not to abandon myself even for ‘a great connection’. To abandon myself in this case would be to give away my power and make the connection to mean – “Look at me, I’m so great, I’m so important”, which a moment later can be replaced by – “who do you think you are?”. Both of course are of the ‘ego-not-your-amigo’. Both are not real.
What does it mean ‘to hold your own’? It means to take care of yourself, open your heart and breathe, before you make a decision, or respond, not from head alone. To Hold your own, is to be response-able, and own your HU-BE-Loved self, the unarguable identity of who you are now. This is at the core of spiritual practice – “God bless the child that’s got his own”.
Samuel Jakob Kirschner, Voice of The BREAZE