Although said by Ghandi almost a century ago, “Be the change you want to see”, it couldn’t be more relevant then today, when so many people are trying to change the world but are not being the change in themselves.
It’s like not treating yourself as well as you want be treated by others, and resenting them for it. It’s like abandoning yourself constantly while complaining about being abandoned. It’s like racing for the victim position not realizing that you’re victimizing yourself exactly like you were once victimized, only doing a better job at it. It’s part of the codependent premise that you can find happiness out side yourself if you only found the right partner, and in the meanwhile oppressing yourself & making others miserable for being unhappy. It’s part of stressing over the past & worrying about the future vs. breathing compassion to your challenges and being joyful now.
It’s challenging to be the change you want to see, because it can trigger the fear of loss of yourself. When I was in South Sudan, I was particularly sensitive to the dynamic of honoring & disgracing. Weather we were working with women who were enslaved, men with polio, patients in a psychiatric ward and their staff, or wounded soldiers, I tried to be mindful of my tone and my manner of addressing them. Perhaps because I’m so sensitive to being condescended and disgraced my self. It killed me when any one in our group was speaking down to grown men & women for being late, or not being served like in the U.S. or mocking African time. It hurts my soul whenever I come across the energy of disgrace. Anyone who has been abused or deeply hurt or raped, should work at being more conscious as not to do it with others. Unfortunately, it’s one of our biggest blind spots, to act out our own trauma, and criticize, judge and hurt others for our own insecurities.
Perhaps, I’m so enamored with the breath because its the healthiest relief I can find whenever I feel fear of losing myself. When I’m willing to reach out, and partner my pain with the breath, transformation happens instantly. The tight chamber of my mind loosens and I feel softer, gentler and more space in my heart.
It’s like “walking like an elephant with grace”, the forth step of the BREAZE. After “standing like a tree & making space” (The third step), you take yourself on the road, connecting with the breath in the earth, and walking from the present, moment by moment, step by step, following your heart, joy, oxygen & ease. (MOJOE). A dear friend told me – “Before dealing with challenging people, places & things, prepare & give yourself an honoring-bath first.
Samuel Jakob Kirschner, Voice of the BREAZE