Dear Gail, Meghan & Quinn,
I was sitting at dinner with you last night, having a perfectly good time, until the conversation turned to Donald Trump. (I wouldn’t be surprised if I brought him up -:). I was triggered when Gail said that “this is all an act” & that “he is probably a nice person”. Something about that infuriated me. Then I got on a roll of bashing Trump, trying to depict him as another Hitler. I felt unstoppable. What scared me about my reaction was how divided my heart felt. A part of me felt so right about my hatred of him. “How can I the child of holocaust survivors, born in a DP camp, serving in the Israeli army, a gay man with a history of suicidal depression, be indifferent about someone who utters such ugly, dangerous and hateful retorics?”
The other part was my belief that hating him would result in hating myself & disconnecting from my soul, and that it could push me into depression. I was trying to cover up my dilemma with humor, and act funny about it… but deep inside I felt miserable & oppressed. Somehow, I forgot to do what I believe is the great awakener, healer and transformer – Breathe & Have A Heart. When I returned home, I felt somewhat somber, realizing that I had just had a wonderful dinner with loving friends, and yet feeling emotionally ‘black & blue’. It wasn’t until later when I took a bath & examined my feelings that I was able to open my heart to my own self-hatred, heal & come back to the present.
Taking care of yourself is taking care of your soul. Waking up from the trance of hatred and having a heart for yourself. Healing your wounded emotions and coming back to the present.