“This weekend I want to be conscious & free of negative drama… Following the breath, keeping my heart open & celebrating the beautiful spirit of Robert Levithan R.I.P.” (I posted on Facebook Saturday morning.) When the news arrived about my old friend Robert’s death, although I expected it, it was a shock in the way death always is – a shock of the unknown. We can never know how we will react to the news about the death of loved one – no matter how prepared we are. Death is the ultimate trauma of the unknown. It can blow our mind in the way of “Although I can feel him… where is he now?” Having lost both my parents, my spouse and many friends, I’ve learned that the main thing to be aware of and have a heart for, is the negative emotional drama. The paradox between personality & being. On the personality level, its not unlikely to have self-blaming thoughts, regretful feelings & troubling questions like “Was I a good friend to him?” “Was he a good friend to me?” “Where am I stuck in my love for him?” & ultimately “Where am I stuck in my love 4 myself & 4 my own life?”
We can feel the Being of our loved ones – because the Being is never gone & that’s comforting & reassuring. But to feel the Being, celebrate & trust it, it helps to keep your heart open, be kind and compassionate to your own insecurity & to your anxiety of the unknown.
I find that the question “where am I emotionally stuck in loving my deceased loved one, unconditionally & in a sacred manner & in celebration?” is a healing question. When you ask it also of yourself “Where am I emotionally stuck in not loving myself & my own life unconditionally?” & tell the truth about it – you’re on your healing way to being whole & free. We are beings of love, who can get stuck in believing that something about us is not worthy of unconditional love. But perhaps, that’s why we’re here – to love all the way, especially that which we believe is unlovable about ourself.
* What’s unworthy of unconditionally loving about you? (something you feel insecure about…)
* Can you gently open your heart, breathe with more ease & have a heart 4 yourself?
* Can you make more space… move with grace… & come home 2 yourself?
* Can you tap into your Breath Intelligence, dance & celebrate the life of your loved one – in a sacred manner & in celebration?
* In the present – are you free 2 be love?
In dealing with Robert’s death this weekend, I was triggered a couple of times by negative emotional drama & opened my heart to it & followed my breath. It was a deeply meaningful & loving weekend. Last night I danced & celebrated Robert’s spirit. When this amazing song for the past “Can You See The Light?” was played, I felt Robert’s presence & connected 2 the time we met in 1986, and used to dance & celebrate our lives amidst the fear of dying of AIDS in the New York Healing Circle. R.I.P. Robert – you are love -:)
Samuel Jakob Kirschner, voice of the BREAZE